Hey hopefully you remember me, you completed a rough draft 2000-3000 multi source essay on the Treaty Of Versailles for me. Well I got my grade, my professor gave me a 56%. I have a final draft that’s due on Dec 16, 2018 11:59 PM Eastern time. May you please revise my paper. I need to have an 85% or above on my final paper in order to pass this class?
Her comments: “Length
Grammar and punctuation
Listing of sources in APA format
Number and quality of sources
Number and quality of sources integrated into the paper: Although you do have ten sources, you don’t “integrate” them into the paper. Apparently, the majority of the material in this essay is attributable to only one source, with the rest only briefly mentioned. One source is not mentioned at all.
Introduction to topic is developed and focused and clearly explains the review: The introduction needs to be cut in half. Please see my notes.
Thesis statement clearly introduces the review of the sources: I did not see a thesis statement. For examples, go to the “A” grade Multi-Source, posted in Writing Resources.
The review divides the literature into categories: Some of the material in your categories was off-topic.
The categories follow one of the strategies taught in class — a list of questions, chronological order, or some other arrangement that helps the reader to see how the literature was divided and classified: This was hard to judge, first, because you devoted so much material to non-essential aspects such as Japan or the U.S. economy in the 1920s, and second, because the category names themselves didn’t always reflect the material that was in those categories. Please see my notes.