Write a 200 – 300 word reflection describing how the specific changes you made will be beneficial for both reader and sender. You can attach this reflection as a separate part of the same file (after page-break) or as two separate files. Upload the complete document after carefully editing for grammar and mechanics.

Email Prompt due today

This is a 2-part assignment: 

1) Revise the following poorly composed email, which is to “Joanne” and from “Jeff.” Follow the guidelines below for your revision.

2) Write a 200 – 300 word reflection describing how the specific changes you made will be beneficial for both reader and sender. You can attach this reflection as a separate part of the same file (after page-break) or as two separate files. Upload the complete document after carefully editing for grammar and mechanics.

Context of Email 

While revising the following poorly composed email, consider the following factors:

>Sara is Jeff and Joanne’s boss.

>Jeff, the Senior Technician in IT, is leading an effort to improve the company’s customer database. He is requesting that Joanne collaborate with him, but he does not want to seem as though he is giving her orders.

> Joanne is a member of the support staff, but not necessarily Jeff’s subordinate. She is aware that Sara asked Jeff to create a strategy to improve the customer database.

Requirements 

Subject Line: concise yet complete, specific and accurate in relation to goals. Capitalize first and last words as well as all other major words—do not capitalize articles, prepositions and conjunctions that are in the middle of the subject line phrase.

Opening: name the recipient, establish an appropriate tone, identify the subject as well as its relevance to your reader, and include the main point of the message.

Organization of Body: presents main points logically, and in a way that assists readability by avoiding large blocks of text or complex formatting. Use typography that is plain text compatible. To highlight important concepts, include sign post language, numbers, whitespace, and possibly headings. Always remain consistent and do not clutter the page.

Closing: must be clear and precise about what you want and what you will do—the reader should know what to expect next. Work to build a positive relationship with the reader, providing encouragement and expressing appreciation for help and/or cooperation. Use an appropriate closing word or phrase before the sender’s name.

Signature: reflects professional formatting and provides full contact information.

Proofreading: spelling, grammar, punctuation, careful editing of unnecessary words, subject-verb agreement, no run-on sentences or inappropriate sentence fragments, clear usage.

Poorly Composed Email 

To: Joanne Smith < jsmith@morris.com >

From: Jeff Fritsch<jfritsch@morris.com>

Date: 21 February 2017 14:22

Subject: help

Sara gave me the go-ahead on my plan for improving the customer database.

Since our biggest problem with the current database is that it contains a lot of outdated information and customers who haven’t purchased anything in five or more years, I think it would be a good idea to send out a mailing asking whether recipients want to continue receiving our newsletter and product announcements so that we can identify our active customers, and you usually take care of the mailings. I am also going to start using new Access software for the updated database, so I’ll need to train you on how to use that too. Let me know.

Jeff

 

Part 1: To: Joanne Smith < jsmith@morris.com >

From: Jeff Fritsch

Date: 21 February 2017 14:22

Subject: Requesting Assistance on Customer Database

I humbly request your assistance in fixing the customer database. As you are aware, our boss, Sara, has given me the thumbs up to ensure that the company’s customer database is improved and thus as efficient as possible. Your collaboration on this would ensure that we come up with an effective strategy to deal with this issue.

Now, our biggest concern is the bulk of outdated information and dormant customers. Since you are well versed with mailings, you will be a big help when It comes to identification of active members. This would be done through sending out mailings to our recipients, asking whether they would like to keep receiving our newsletters and product announcements.

If you agree to be part of this collaboration, then we will start training on the new Access software for the updated database as soon as possible since we will be using it during this project.

You are free to deny or accept the offer. However, your acceptance would be a big help to the success of this endeavour. Please contact me and let me know your final decision.

Regards,

Jeff.

 

Part 2: Need Help with it